God May Asks Wives to Submit but Husbands, God Asks You for Much More

Men love to tell their wives that God says to submit to their husbands. This is absolutely true and we'll discuss why in a moment. But they ALWAYS gloss over the mandate that God gives them.

It says, husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church and laid down his LIFE for it (Eph 5:24). It goes on further to say that men should love their wives as they love their own bodies, and to love his wife even as he loves himself (v28).

So yes, while God tells us ladies to submit He also tells husbands that their responsibility to their wives is to literally exchange their life for hers if necessary and to love her the exact same way that you love yourself for, no man has EVER yet hated his own flesh (v29). If you are not familiar with the sacrifice that Jesus made for us see here.

I love how the Message lays out the passage this comes from. It reads,

Ephesians 5:22-33The Message (MSG)

22-24 Wives, understand and support your husbands in ways that show your support for Christ. The husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing. So just as the church submits to Christ as he exercises such leadership, wives should likewise submit to their husbands.

25-28 Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church—a love marked by giving, not getting. Christ’s love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty. Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her, dressing her in dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness. And that is how husbands ought to love their wives. They’re really doing themselves a favor—since they’re already “one” in marriage.

29-33 No one abuses his own body, does he? No, he feeds and pampers it. That’s how Christ treats us, the church, since we are part of his body. And this is why a man leaves father and mother and cherishes his wife. No longer two, they become “one flesh.” This is a huge mystery, and I don’t pretend to understand it all. What is clearest to me is the way Christ treats the church. And this provides a good picture of how each husband is to treat his wife, loving himself in loving her, and how each wife is to honor her husband.

Ladies, now that we have context it makes perfect sense why we are to submit. Because our husbands are our protection (physically, emotionally, spiritually, mentally) and our covering like Christ is for the church. Submitting doesn't mean they tell us what to do, what to wear, who we can look at, who our friends can be. That is not love and that is not of God. We submit in order to receive the fullness of the love that is supposed to exist in a marriage just like as Christians we submit to God to receive the fullness of the love God has for us and the life He wants us to have. There are too many stories in the Bible of husbands who loved, cherished and revered their wives for me to believe that God would sanction any abuse of a husband to a wife.

See Hannah, Esther, Ruth

In God's economy submitting does not mean a loss of power or equality and definitely is not grounds for abuse. Especially not if He is calling husbands to be willing to die for their wives and love them as much as they love themselves.

To my fellow Christians: To those of you who use this verse to shame women into staying with their abusive spouses. SHAME ON YOU! Abuse is not of God and I don't know any man who would stand by and let themselves be beaten, belittled, and/or dominated. If they wouldn't do it to themselves they shouldn't be doing it to their wives. That is God's mandate.

So men of God I invite you again to read this passage of scripture and examine yourself instead of trying to use God's Word to rule over someone else.

The Unlikely Missionary

DHW