Your word is love,
Your word is true
And my heart can rest assured
Oh, I love you, Lord I trust You
As I live I've learned
That I can take You at Your word
I am sure that the good work God began in you will continue until he completes it on the day when Jesus Christ comes again. Philippians 1:6 ERV
When the scripture said there is nothing new under the sun its true. When I look out at the current moment the American Evangelical Church sits in, 1 Timothy 6 speaks so deeply to this moment. Where truth is lacking, the focus is protecting offering collections, Pastors viewing themselves as gods and refusing godly instruction. In this moment we are trading God's purpose for Money and Likes.
I have a fondness for the Message translation of the Bible since my time as a Youth Leader at my father's church because of how it interprets the Word. So that is the verison you will see here.
1 Timothy 6:2-10 goes as follows:
2-5 These are the things I want you to teach and preach. If you have leaders there who teach otherwise, who refuse the solid words of our Master Jesus and this godly instruction, tag them for what they are: ignorant windbags who infect the air with germs of envy, controversy, bad-mouthing, suspicious rumors. Eventually there’s an epidemic of backstabbing, and truth is but a distant memory. They think religion is a way to make a fast buck.
6-8 A devout life does bring wealth, but it’s the rich simplicity of being yourself before God. Since we entered the world penniless and will leave it penniless, if we have bread on the table and shoes on our feet, that’s enough.
9-10 But if it’s only money these leaders are after, they’ll self-destruct in no time. Lust for money brings trouble and nothing but trouble. Going down that path, some lose their footing in the faith completely and live to regret it bitterly ever after.
Doesn't that sound like our current reality of fake news and scandals? Cheating, backstabbing, focused more on keeping people happy so they will still send their tithes instead of speaking the TRUTH. The focus of godly instruction thrown to the waste side?
There is nothing wrong with having money. That's not what this passage is saying, before you come for my neck lol, but chasing money instead of God and a faith filled life... that is the problem. Churches need money to run but if you are doing the work of the Lord He will always provide. Did He not always make sure that Jesus had food to eat and a place to sleep? He'll do the same for us. He wants us to have abundance and to prosper but if the only reason we are preaching the Word of God is to enrich ourselves we will self-destruct be His Word is not in us.
How many pastors have we seen fall? How many have had to step down? How many have we lost respect for? God will not cover that which He has not ordained.
So what should our response be in this moment? Run for your life from this! 1 Timothy 6 continues,
11-12 But you, Timothy, man of God: Run for your life from all this. Pursue a righteous life—a life of wonder, faith, love, steadiness, courtesy. Run hard and fast in the faith. Seize the eternal life, the life you were called to, the life you so fervently embraced in the presence of so many witnesses.
13-16 I’m charging you before the life-giving God and before Christ, who took his stand before Pontius Pilate and didn’t give an inch: Keep this command to the letter, and don’t slack off. Our Master, Jesus Christ, is on his way. He’ll show up right on time, his arrival guaranteed by the Blessed and Undisputed Ruler, High King, High God. He’s the only one death can’t touch, his light so bright no one can get close. He’s never been seen by human eyes—human eyes can’t take him in! Honor to him, and eternal rule! Oh, yes.
17-19 Tell those rich in this world’s wealth to quit being so full of themselves and so obsessed with money, which is here today and gone tomorrow. Tell them to go after God, who piles on all the riches we could ever manage—to do good, to be rich in helping others, to be extravagantly generous. If they do that, they’ll build a treasury that will last, gaining life that is truly life.
20-21 And oh, my dear Timothy, guard the treasure you were given! Guard it with your life. Avoid the talk-show religion and the practiced confusion of the so-called experts. People caught up in a lot of talk can miss the whole point of faith.
Overwhelming grace keep you!
Go after God! Pursue His righteousness. Seek Hi purpose. Preach His Gospel, not our own. God is a rich, loving God amd I think we have forgotten that. He is generous and if we are in alignment with Him we don't have to worry about the pursuit of money, fame, fortune or influence. He gives us those things freely. Reject this fake news church gospel. Run from it and run to God. Purse God with your whole heart. God is so good. Don't listen to talking heads. Listen to the voice of God. Trust His Word. It has never returned unto Him void. It is always true.The Spirit of the Lord is on me, [Jesus],because he has anointed meto preach good news to the poor.He has sent me to proclaim release to the captivesand recovery of sight to the blind,to set free the oppressed,to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.
As I mentioned I'm doing the devotional 100 days of Believing Bigger devotional by Marshawn Evans Daniels.
I'm on Day 21 and its talking about identity. I'm part of The Destiny Collective and we just finished our live devotional reading and as I've just been sitting in it. Think about myself and how I see myself. I talk a lot about my worldview and God but I rarely talk here about what God shows me in my own quiet time.
Part of the reason is not wanting to expose something so personal to judgement. Always wanting to have a perfect image when in truth I struggle just like everyone else. I'm not perfect but my entire life I have lived under this pressure to be perfect. Following protocol and being who people want me to be, Wearing Masks in order to be the me I know I can be good at. Can you relate?
Today's live devotional gave me the realization that the shadow Damaris's I have created are not my savior and are actually a weight that are suppressing who I really am. Pretending is heavy. Pretending is dangerous. You can become so good at pretending the real you disappears and it can take a long time to make it back to her.
In my journaling time I wrote this, "Because I know how to be for others, that is my default, because I know I am God at it. It stops me from being me because it leaves me exposed and is unknown territory".
That realization quieted me and made me sit in that moment. Creating these shadows of me, each having certain elements of my personality while surpressing others, had made me feel godlike but truthfully it is just me hiding behind characters. Hiding from rejection, hiding insecurity, hiding feelings of inferiority, hiding the pain of people's belief in who they think I am, scared that if they knew the real me, they'd reject me.
There is a reason I'm not God. God never surpresses, He reveals fully because He cannot exist in shadow only light. Nothing is hidden.
God speaks to me in music. There is a reason I have praise breaks on this blog. As I quieted myself, sitting in what God revealed to me the song, You Must Break by Tasha Cobbs Leanord ft. Kierra Sheard came to my mind. The lyrics speak directly to the heart of my struggle with my identity.
Tasha sings,
I had become so comfortable wearing the masks until one day I wasn't. But shame had me sit in the place of being unable to let the masks go while hating myself for continuing to wear them. But curse of rejection, you can't stay here. I'm not living in what you planned for me. I am the DAUGHTER of the KING. As I decide to lay you aside, you must break.
Then Kierra sings at 1:54,
I have always existed in a world of comparison that birthed insecurity. Comparison to my sister who is more extroverted than me. Looks more like my mom then me. Is more adventerous than me. Comparison to other women. Who are skinner than me. Whose hair looks better than mine. Who are better able to build girlfriend relationships.
My level of insecurity in who I am as God created me has been crippling. The feeling that I am not good enough or pretty enough, outgoing enough, enough enough. Insecurity you CANNOT stay here anymore. Anxiety you are not welcome here. I'm not living in what you planned for me. I am the DAUGHTER of the KING. As I decide to lay you aside, you must break.
These masks MUST BREAK. These shadow Damaris's MUST BREAK. Nothing about me is a mistake. God won't bless who I pretend to be. I must abandon them all and embrace the real me.
I have VICTORY today. Today, as I just sat, I felt a shift. I felt the Holy Spirt breaking those masks. I felt them melting away. I didn't even fight for them. God said its time to let them go. For the first time I didn't want them and I finally believe I don't need them.
That is such a huge deal for me. Today, if you doubt who God has made you. Not the you that you allow people to see, but the divine daughter or son of the Most High God that you are. I want to encourage you, that you are more than enough. When God saw you, He saw that you were good.
Today, and from this day forward, "I release any thoughts of inferiority and embrace how You've designed me."
The Unlikely Missionary
Damaris
*Italized is from 100 Days of Believing Bigger
I have been in a time of Worship and Praise since early this morning and for the last 3 hours I've been listening to Israel Houghton's Feels Like Home.
It has been blessing me. But the very last song was the Hymn of Breakthough. There has been such a shift in my mindset, in my expectancy of God in the last almost 20 days. I'm expecting a breakthough or even breakthrough.
The lyrics say, I hear the sound of breakthough, my breakthrough is here. Everything that I need You supply. Every promise of Heaven is mine. But the words that spoke to my spirit,
I am healed, I am free
My breakthrough is here
God has spoken, I agree. God has spoken, I agree. God has spoken, I agree. God has spoken, I agree.
I remember in December when I wrote that 2021 would be the
year of Birth.
2020 had been incredibly hard and we all collectively experienced
that pain. We were all looking for an epidural, a respite, relief from the agony.
But with all that had happened in 2020 I just knew God had something that would
come out of those pains.
At the top of the year, I got promoted which was a birthing of all the hard, taxing but rewarding work I had done in 2020 at my organization. Then I was named to the Forbes Finance Council a few months later. I assumed, incorrectly, that this was what God had planned to birth in me in 2021. However even after this promotion and that recognition I still had expectation for more. That birthing, my promotion, was expected. I had done a lot, I had planned for it. I had labored and pushed to achieve that birthing. The recognition was not but throughout this year I have still felt pregnant. Like God was saying there is more, there is more that I have yet to show you.
At this point, like most women who are almost at the finish line of there pregnancy they are just ready to get the baby out. You are tired, your pregnancy is heavy, both physically, mentally and emotionally and you are just ready to push it out. I’m no exception in this situation. I just wanted to find what this more was and birth it.
So began my searching for what that was. What that more was. I started
looking at new jobs. I started looking at potentially going back to school to
get a management certification. I began to push and push but nothing was coming. However, I
was still feeling the labor pains and I didn’t like it. This wasn’t the more.
Then, I found The Destiny Collective or I should say it found me. The journey to this
moment in my life is one that could only be orchestrated by God. In 2015, I was watching this show on the FYI channel called BlackLove. It followed 5 women in NYC
on their dating journey. One of the experts on the show was a psychotherapist named
Jack A. Daniels, not the liquor lol. He was so great; his advice was always spot
on and spoke to the heart of the issues the women were having and to be honest myself as well. So I decided
to follow him on social media. By doing so I learned he was a believer. He
would post quick hits on Twitter and Instagram that he would hashtag as a shot
of Jack.
Then 5 years later, in 2020, I saw a post of a woman with a very big pregnant belly in my Instagram Search tab. This tab shows you posts that Instagram thinks you might be interested in based on who you follow and what you search for and like. Her belly was so big and she is so skinny, she looked ready to pop. This fits my theme of birthing so well doesn't it? God is so good.
What was curious to me was why she popped up in my search. Who did I know
that followed her? My curiosity piqued I just had to click on the post to learn
more about her and who I knew that knew her.
That’s when, after I Instagram stalked her lol, I learned
that she was Jack Daniels’s wife, Marshawn Evans Daniels, and that she popped up
because he follows her and liked the post. At this point, I had been following
him for years and had never seen her pop up in my feed or maybe I wasn’t ready
to see.
Through that Instagram post I learned that she was (and still is) an absolute powerhouse woman of God and a boss. That she had been waiting and praying for those babies for years and had even thought she may never have kids and here she was about to have 3! Her faith was just so incredible to me especially because I was not in that same place of belief. So, I gave her a follow.
That happened early in the pandemic, so early in 2020. And
then I didn’t think much about it after that. Every now and then I would see a
post from her about the progress of her pregnancy, her baby shower and then her babies being
born. You know, regular Instagram stuff. And then in September 2021, I saw a
post about this new thing she was doing.
I see a lot of these things on Instagram all the time; Ads
or posts saying join this Masterclass to learn how to become a successful
entrepreneur in 90 days or join my course that will teach you the ABCs of how
to gain followers on Instagram. I instantly thought to myself, “Oh, Lord what
is she selling?”. I know, I know. I’m a
very cynical person but I’m working on it. And I moved to scroll past it but
God…
God said to me, “Click it Damaris”. Normally, I wouldn’t
question when God tells me so audibly to do something like this but instead I
just closed my Instagram app. At this point in my life I’ve experienced so much
disappointment, hurt and pain and my faith was not in a good place. I was just like “God
what are you talking about? No, I don’t want to do this. I am tired. I just
want to be left alone and I want to stop being in pain. I don’t want to try
anymore.”. Trying just felt like it hurt too much.
But that post stayed on my mind. I couldn’t shake it. It was
pulling me, drawing me to it. Plus, God would not leave me alone about the post
either and so I reopened my app and being reluctantly obedient, I found the post, clicked on it
and learned about this virtual gathering she was having to talk about
Supernatural Alignment to a group of God-fearing women.
That phrase “Supernatural Alignment” spoke to me in a way I
never knew I needed, and I signed up. Now I was still reluctant and unsure - we
had homework to do after we signed up, one of which was to invite as many women
as you could, and I admit I didn’t do it. I was still very much closed off from people
as a defense mechanism and didn’t want to put myself out there like that. Don’t
be like me. But, in spite of that I was waiting expectantly for this meeting. I
really have never been this excited for a Zoom call before. I was checking my
email to make sure I didn’t miss it.
And what a meeting it was! It was just incredible to hear Marshawn
talk about who she is and her journey and how she helps women get into supernatural
alignment with God. I think it was a three hour call but really I wasn’t
keeping track of time. At the end of it we were invited to join The Destiny
Collective. A group of women who love God and want to step into their calling,
bolding following the plan God has for our lives.
When she asked us to join, I didn’t even hesitate. I
realized that God was trying to show me something. He was trying to show me
that more that had continued to stir in my soul.
Since joining I have felt such a shift in my spirit, in my
mindset, in my belief in who I am and who I am supposed to be and who God is
and what He wants for my life. The fact that I get to experience this in a safe
space with women (I have always struggled to develop relationships with women.
I don’t really have a good group of close, saved girlfriends) who love God and are
believing bigger and want to go higher in their calling and relationship with
God has been the epidural I needed as I continue to push forth what God has
still left in my birthing for 2021.
It’s just started and I have already learned so much about
myself. Whew!
If you are a woman looking to get in spiritual alignment, I
invite you to join The Destiny Collective with me. And even if you aren’t
ready, I invite you to get 100 days of Believing Bigger Devotional that
we are going through for the next 100 days. Today is day 19 but that’s ok, you
can join and catch up with us.
God is still moving, God is still birthing and I am excited for what is to come.
The Unlikely Missionary
DHW