I had an interesting exchange on Facebook awhile ago which moved me to create this post. However, I hesitated to put this out. However, since them we have had Dr. Nasser and Michigan State, another Catholic church sandal and a Supreme Court Justice nominee that has been accused of Sexual Assault. So I have finally found the courage to post something that needs to be said from the Word of God.
There is a lot of discussion of rape culture in America especially when rapists are given three month sentences for their awful crimes.
There is so much BS out there about how women can keep themselves from being raped as if we can steel trap our legs shut. And it particularly grieves me when supposed people of God speak these things out of their own mouths.
But what does the Bible say?
The story of Tamar in the Bible is a perfect example of what happens when society ignores rape (2 Samuel 13).
It has a high cost.
King David, we all know King David, had an obscene amount of wives and had many children. Tamar was his daughter and she was raped by her half-brother Amnon in a nefarious scheme thought up by his friend Jonadab. This story could be a story we would read in our newspapers today.
After he completed his scheme and was done with her, he threw her out into the street. When her full brother, Absalom, found her he knew immediately what happened but told her to keep quiet. Then when they finally told her father, the king, he was angry but did nothing.
What do we know?
I once watched an episode of the show Cold Case many years ago now but it is one I will never forget. A young woman had been raped and she didn't want to go to the police but her boyfriend convinced her to go. Because the police were supposed to help her right? I found myself openly weeping as she was revictimized by the police officers who were supposed to help her. They listened to her story but didn't bother to write it down. They asked her if she wasn't sure she liked it. Then began to mock her. I was heartbroken because, how many women have experienced this?
The episode was a cold case because the boyfriend was so incensed that nothing was done he went to get justice by his own hand but ended up killed instead. We will get to the costs in a minute.
The Problem
No one once thought about how Tamar must be feeling. Instead it was about protecting Amnon. Absalom told her to keep quiet because Amnon was her brother and not to take it to heart. Doesn't this sound familiar? Don't say anything because his whole life is ahead of him and this will mess everything up. He didn't really mean it. Or are you sure that's what really happened? Or if you weren't so pretty he wouldn't have wanted you. There is nothing new under the sun people. Society has been making up these same arguments since the beginning of time.
David did nothing because Amnon was his heir and the crown prince. David's position however is a unique one. He was not just a father but the law of the land. And by not condemning his son for his actions he not only caused division in his household but set precedence in his kingdom for the acceptance of violence. David had many sons, his kingdom would have been fine if he had punished Amnon. He chose not to just like many judges in this world choose not to. Unfortunately, like many men after him they protect the criminal and not the victim.
The Cost
Tamar lived her life in her brother Absalom's house as a desolate woman (v20).
Absalom hated Amnon for what he did to his sister. And this makes sense. As she lived in his house he watch the toll this assault took on his sister and then he began to think about how Amnon wasn't punished for it. His hatred grew and I dare say not just for Amnon but for his father as well.
Amnon is killed in Absalom's household. As I have always said, no one gets away with what they do. It may seem like that at first but we always experience consequences for our actions. Absalom got to the point where he couldn't take it anymore. He let his hatred fester for 2 years and then he got his own justice.
David still lost his heir, lost his beloved son Absalom & his daughter. And ended up with a kingdom divided. Absalom got Amnon killed. Because of his father's inaction Absalom further rebelled, plotting to kill David as well as dividing the kingdom against David and taking over as king. Finally, Absalom chased David all over Israel until he himself was killed by his father's advisers.
One act of inaction caused national upheavel which is what is taking place now. A nation divided.
Tamar's Legacy
She was not silent. She let it be known what happened to her because it was wrong and it was not her fault. Her name means palm tree which is a symbol of justice in Jewish culture. I believe her name means justice because God wanted it to be known that all sexual assault victims deserve justice even if the world doesn't believe so.
This story was included in the Bible for a reason and it is so that we could see that even back then even when men tried to keep it quiet. God saw.
It may seem like people get away with things but they really don't.
For more check out this post from Jennifer Davis Sensenig
We Can't Turn Away From Tamar's Story
If you are a victim or know of someone who was a victim of sexual assault call RAINN at 800.656.HOPE (4673) and talk to a trained counselor who can help.
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There is a lot of discussion of rape culture in America especially when rapists are given three month sentences for their awful crimes.
There is so much BS out there about how women can keep themselves from being raped as if we can steel trap our legs shut. And it particularly grieves me when supposed people of God speak these things out of their own mouths.
But what does the Bible say?
The story of Tamar in the Bible is a perfect example of what happens when society ignores rape (2 Samuel 13).
It has a high cost.
King David, we all know King David, had an obscene amount of wives and had many children. Tamar was his daughter and she was raped by her half-brother Amnon in a nefarious scheme thought up by his friend Jonadab. This story could be a story we would read in our newspapers today.
After he completed his scheme and was done with her, he threw her out into the street. When her full brother, Absalom, found her he knew immediately what happened but told her to keep quiet. Then when they finally told her father, the king, he was angry but did nothing.
What do we know?
- Tamar knew what this assault meant for her. She would now be regarded as damaged and she would be ruined. People would look at her differently. This is true for many women even today. Women don't just lose physical autonomy when they are assaulted. They lose so much more emotionally, mentally and holistically that often times they are left to build back up alone.
- Tamar was failed by all the men in her life. How often do women who have been assaulted get met with anger at what has happened to them? How often do they then get told to be quiet as her brother Absalom did? How often do you go to those in authority for help, and like King David, find no justice there either?
I once watched an episode of the show Cold Case many years ago now but it is one I will never forget. A young woman had been raped and she didn't want to go to the police but her boyfriend convinced her to go. Because the police were supposed to help her right? I found myself openly weeping as she was revictimized by the police officers who were supposed to help her. They listened to her story but didn't bother to write it down. They asked her if she wasn't sure she liked it. Then began to mock her. I was heartbroken because, how many women have experienced this?
The episode was a cold case because the boyfriend was so incensed that nothing was done he went to get justice by his own hand but ended up killed instead. We will get to the costs in a minute.
The Problem
No one once thought about how Tamar must be feeling. Instead it was about protecting Amnon. Absalom told her to keep quiet because Amnon was her brother and not to take it to heart. Doesn't this sound familiar? Don't say anything because his whole life is ahead of him and this will mess everything up. He didn't really mean it. Or are you sure that's what really happened? Or if you weren't so pretty he wouldn't have wanted you. There is nothing new under the sun people. Society has been making up these same arguments since the beginning of time.
David did nothing because Amnon was his heir and the crown prince. David's position however is a unique one. He was not just a father but the law of the land. And by not condemning his son for his actions he not only caused division in his household but set precedence in his kingdom for the acceptance of violence. David had many sons, his kingdom would have been fine if he had punished Amnon. He chose not to just like many judges in this world choose not to. Unfortunately, like many men after him they protect the criminal and not the victim.
The Cost
Tamar lived her life in her brother Absalom's house as a desolate woman (v20).
Absalom hated Amnon for what he did to his sister. And this makes sense. As she lived in his house he watch the toll this assault took on his sister and then he began to think about how Amnon wasn't punished for it. His hatred grew and I dare say not just for Amnon but for his father as well.
Amnon is killed in Absalom's household. As I have always said, no one gets away with what they do. It may seem like that at first but we always experience consequences for our actions. Absalom got to the point where he couldn't take it anymore. He let his hatred fester for 2 years and then he got his own justice.
David still lost his heir, lost his beloved son Absalom & his daughter. And ended up with a kingdom divided. Absalom got Amnon killed. Because of his father's inaction Absalom further rebelled, plotting to kill David as well as dividing the kingdom against David and taking over as king. Finally, Absalom chased David all over Israel until he himself was killed by his father's advisers.
One act of inaction caused national upheavel which is what is taking place now. A nation divided.
Tamar's Legacy
She was not silent. She let it be known what happened to her because it was wrong and it was not her fault. Her name means palm tree which is a symbol of justice in Jewish culture. I believe her name means justice because God wanted it to be known that all sexual assault victims deserve justice even if the world doesn't believe so.
This story was included in the Bible for a reason and it is so that we could see that even back then even when men tried to keep it quiet. God saw.
It may seem like people get away with things but they really don't.
The Unlikely Missionary
DHW
For more check out this post from Jennifer Davis Sensenig
We Can't Turn Away From Tamar's Story
If you are a victim or know of someone who was a victim of sexual assault call RAINN at 800.656.HOPE (4673) and talk to a trained counselor who can help.
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