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Saying God is in Control Brings me little comfort...

My faith in this moment is the only thing keeping me from falling apart so this title may seem a bit strange.

I know we say that God is in control and that is true. He is always in control. He was in control during the Holocaust, he was in control during slavery, he is in control during the good and the bad. The Bible illustrates that very clearly. He is always in control.

That doesn't diminish the harm that will come to millions of people. That doesn't erase the pain millions of people are experiencing. It doesn't stop the feeling that evil has won and is playing in our face in Jesus name.

I know God is in control and yet I am struggling because there is nothing I can do make this right. As a Black woman in a position that only 2% of Black women get to. As a mom of two beautiful black children who people think it is ok to use and abuse for sport. As a daughter of two Elders who are in their golden years and should not have to worry that their health care might be stripped away. A sister of an LGBTQIA sibling who people want to destroy. I am powerless. All I have is the Holy Spirit within me and the promise that God will never leave me.

I'm not ok but I haven't fallen apart because God woke me up this morning singing this Anthony Evan's song: Hope is Alive.

Even through my pain
I will life my voice and say

My Hope is alive
He's living inside
He's the light of world
He's living inside
A love that will never die
My hope is alive

Make no mistake this will be painful. It will not be alright. It will hurt. But even through my pain God reminded me that my hope is alive not because of the electorate but inspite of it. It's alive because He's alive in me.

My tears are real. My pain is real. My fear is real. And it is all valid. My mistrust, my hurt, my betrayal all real and valid. So is yours.

But there is another side that we will come to after we crawl out of this valley. I pray we survive it with minimal scars and casualties but hope is not dead. It lives inside of you and me and it survives as we survive. In Paul, in Peter even in their darkest moments - hope was alive.

Righteousness still matters. It saved Lot and his family. It provided for Moses. It broke Peter's shackles.

So grieve. Please grieve as long as you need. But don't let it stop you. Don't shut down. Let it fuel your hope. Let it focus your steps to keep doing the next best thing you know how. Let it draw you closer to your purpose.
 
The Unlikely Missionary
DHW

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